9th day

Today, I enjoy my 9th sick day from school... and although I do also need it for mental health reasons (I know, I know- didn't I just get off of a 2 week vacation?), I actually am taking the day for an appointment at the French consulate to get a new passport. I am determined to travel this summer and because my school's hours make it impossible to make an appointments during regular business hours, I just had to take the whole day off.

Now, although I've slept in, made fresh grapefruit juice to have with my eggs for breakfast, read some of the New Yorker, and have otherwise thoroughly enjoyed my day so far, school has not gotten me to the point where I needed to take a day as a matter of life or death. The glow of calm that surrounded me after our 2-week break is starting to fade, however.

Just this week, I was threatened with scissors and fists and pounced upon by a child while I was reading aloud to the rest of the class, because he wanted to get my cell phone out of my hands (he didn't want me to use it to call his foster mom). I had to hold the child back with my leg while he frantically clawed at me and my hands, trying to pry them open. When I sent another student to the office to get help, the first student started to run after her, so I held onto him, while he flailed around madly. He seemed to have calmed down, so I let him go and he ran out of the room after her. So, someone had to watch my room, while I went to make sure he didn't go harm the other student. Oh, I've also been hit, shoved into furniture, yelled at... and this is all by the same student, who has found a way to have the whole school at his beck and call (he gets violent--- he gets everyone's attention). If I ignore his behavior, he goes after other students so that I cannot ignore his behavior. Keeping everyone safe is a challenge and, needless to say, his constant attacks make for a terrible learning environment.
So, what do you do when it gets this bad every day and there seems to be no good solution at the school site? I've gotten in touch with the union to get some advice.

but I need to stop thinking about that now, to enjoy the rest of my day off.

success!

One day with NOOO teacher talk outside of school. I'm definitely taking the bull by the horns. I limited it within school walls too... and I feel the dullness seeping out of me already. Turns out, there are plenty more things to talk about on a lunch break than the last kid who got on your last nerve. I'm hoping that I'll have the willpower to keep it up...

In the meantime, I'm looking into travel to Brazil for this coming summer, so that ought to keep my spirits up.

Resolution

Although there are a multitude of avenues for betterment and ways that I could tweak myself to be more efficient, organized, slim, creatively active, etc... one very important thing stands out as an urgent 'to do' for the new year. I am going to try my damndest to stop boring the hell out of people with minute details from my job, which I'll just jot down here once in a while. I've realized that people just don't want to hear it and that once I start talking about it, I can't stop the flow, which often turns negative. It makes me think of the fairytale where spellbound stepsisters began to spit out toads every time they opened their mouths. And though it may feel good at first, the results aren't pretty. Funny stories, I will share, but daily descriptions of violent tantrums and cussing students go out the window (unless those episodes are funny, of course). This will be hard, but for the sake of maintaining my existing frienships and my personal mental health, I will make an honest attempt.